1 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:07,580 Jenna: Lindy Littlejohn, 2 00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:09,790 accused of plagiarizing her short story 3 00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:11,010 by the author's own daughter. 4 00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:14,210 -She stole it from one of her students. 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:15,840 She's a liar. Mike: You'll regret it. 6 00:00:15,870 --> 00:00:17,960 -I am her literal regret. 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,800 Young Lulu: "I dream of a life without a daughter, 8 00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:21,510 sucking at the teat of inspiration." 9 00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,050 Mom hates me. 10 00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,640 Terry: The Pulitzer committee is meeting 11 00:00:24,670 --> 00:00:26,010 and there's talk of rescinding your award. 12 00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:27,350 -What am I without it? 13 00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:28,560 -A former client. 14 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:30,020 Lindy: Eight packs of toilet paper? 15 00:00:30,050 --> 00:00:31,020 Hundreds. 16 00:00:31,050 --> 00:00:32,390 I'm his fucking lab rat. 17 00:00:32,430 --> 00:00:34,400 -You're having an affair with my physicist? 18 00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:35,610 [screams] 19 00:00:36,010 --> 00:00:37,020 -[gasps] 20 00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:38,320 -No! 21 00:00:38,350 --> 00:00:39,400 [groans] 22 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:41,400 Les: Richard. 23 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,570 Have I killed a man? 24 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:43,990 -[gasps] You're alive! 25 00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:46,740 -Les has 30 days to solve the formula 26 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,160 or he's fired and the tech reverts to Hilton. 27 00:00:49,190 --> 00:00:50,830 -Another fuckin' lie! 28 00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:52,710 -I need space from you. 29 00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:54,500 -Fucking Les. -Oh, fuck! 30 00:00:54,530 --> 00:00:57,170 -[fire alarm beeping] -You can't solve the formula. 31 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,510 And I plan to make the next 21 days of your life 32 00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:02,550 - a living hell. -[screams] 33 00:01:02,580 --> 00:01:03,600 [Lindy laughs] 34 00:01:07,630 --> 00:01:10,730 [ominous music playing] 35 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,990 Lindy: Les. 36 00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:24,740 You're stuck in a bad dream. 37 00:01:24,770 --> 00:01:27,200 We both are. 38 00:01:27,230 --> 00:01:29,250 Les, wake up. 39 00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:36,340 -[gasps] Lindy, you're you. 40 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:38,540 -I'm me. 41 00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:40,050 -Is it over? 42 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:41,210 -It is for me. 43 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:42,210 -What happened? 44 00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:44,130 Lindy: I lost my Pulitzer. 45 00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:48,640 I was outed as a plagiarist by our daughter. 46 00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:51,260 -Oh. Lindy: She's so clever 47 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:53,100 and bright. 48 00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:55,190 [sighs] Loathes me. 49 00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:58,310 But not you. -I'm sorry. 50 00:01:58,350 --> 00:02:01,070 I would be devastated if she loathed me. 51 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,070 -It's all right, really. 52 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:04,780 I am a fraud. 53 00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:06,320 One book. 54 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,450 I'm relieved. -That was your prize. 55 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,910 [gasps] Now that I've solved the formula, 56 00:02:11,940 --> 00:02:13,830 I'm gonna get mine. 57 00:02:13,860 --> 00:02:16,120 Lindy: Oh, you're confused. 58 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,750 You didn't solve anything. 59 00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:20,250 You're never going to get your prize. 60 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,250 You're a fraud, too. 61 00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:24,260 -Then I need you to respect me, Lindy. 62 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:26,010 I can't be alone. 63 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,590 -You are alone. 64 00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:30,010 -But you're here. 65 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,650 -Am I? 66 00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,820 Wake up! 67 00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:38,030 [gasping] 68 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,160 -Lindy? 69 00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:47,660 Lindy: I'm still here, Les. 70 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,780 -No, you're not. 71 00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:54,120 And I'm dreaming. 72 00:02:54,150 --> 00:02:55,340 Lindy: No. 73 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,090 This is real. 74 00:02:59,070 --> 00:03:00,880 I'm right here. 75 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,600 Boo! -[yelps] 76 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,470 -Where are you? 77 00:03:14,510 --> 00:03:15,810 Lindy. 78 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,020 Where are you? 79 00:03:17,050 --> 00:03:18,310 Lindy. 80 00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:21,360 [ominous music playing] 81 00:03:34,190 --> 00:03:35,380 -[sighs] 82 00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:38,580 Lindy: Guilt won't let you sleep. 83 00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:41,380 -You're the one who should be feeling guilty! 84 00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:44,140 Lindy: Me? -Yes! 85 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:45,600 Lindy: Richard. 86 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,510 Dolores. 87 00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:50,730 -I can't do this. I can't-- 88 00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:53,900 found you. 89 00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:58,070 You sadist. 90 00:03:58,550 --> 00:03:59,900 [laughs] 91 00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:07,330 -Shit. 92 00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,360 Lindy: Dr. Carmichael said... 93 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,030 -Oh, fuck that bitch and fuck you! 94 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:16,030 Lindy: Les, that is a red-light reaction. 95 00:04:16,070 --> 00:04:17,450 -Oh, you're in my head. 96 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,790 You're in my head, you're in my head, 97 00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:19,960 you're in my head, you're in my--oh! 98 00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:21,040 Oh! Oh, God! 99 00:04:21,070 --> 00:04:22,040 Lindy: Dr. Carmichael says 100 00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:24,040 we can't be afraid to expose 101 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,250 our naked selves, 102 00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:26,630 even if it makes us feel 103 00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:29,880 vulnerable and scared. 104 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,810 [ominous music playing] 105 00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:44,150 -We're goin' God mode. 106 00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:48,230 Connect, connect, connect, connect, 107 00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:50,400 connect, connect, connect. 108 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,570 -You have no power if you have no power! 109 00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:56,070 -Don't you dare touch that circuit breaker, Les. 110 00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:57,130 I will crush you. 111 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,790 -I touch what I wanna touch. 112 00:05:01,820 --> 00:05:04,420 I exist without restraint. 113 00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:06,670 Lindy: You live in darkness. 114 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:10,420 Full fucking throttle. 115 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:13,970 You will tremble to think of all the things I can do 116 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,190 while you sleep. 117 00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:19,140 Sun's out, buns out. 118 00:05:19,170 --> 00:05:20,480 -Oh. 119 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,110 -[chuckles] Les: Fuck this! 120 00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:29,360 I'm checking into the Courtyard Marriott. 121 00:05:29,390 --> 00:05:30,940 -Uh-uh, if you don't come home, 122 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,950 I will report myself a missing person. 123 00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:35,160 Les: You wouldn't. 124 00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:36,530 -I would. 125 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,780 I will Gone Girl myself. 126 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:41,200 How are you gonna explain your actions to the police? 127 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,330 -You monster! Lindy: I'm your monster, 128 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:44,790 Dr. Franken-fuck. 129 00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:46,290 [doorbell rings] 130 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,340 [jazz music playing] 131 00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:55,850 -Uh, oh, my bad. 132 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,520 [door lock clicks] 133 00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:07,530 Lindy: Enough to wipe your ass for 192 days. 134 00:06:08,010 --> 00:06:09,360 Trust me. 135 00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:14,620 You're my prisoner now. 136 00:06:19,730 --> 00:06:22,750 [ears ringing] [muffled breathing] 137 00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:30,000 Martin: Hello? -[gasps] 138 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,210 Hello. [clears throat] 139 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,170 Hi, Martin. Hi. Uh, yes. 140 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,220 -Are you sleeping? Your eyes were open. 141 00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:36,420 -No, I was resting. 142 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:39,010 It's been a long, um, long life. 143 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,850 -Are you able to... to receive information? 144 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,850 Because we've got a problem. 145 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:44,890 -What is the problem? 146 00:06:44,930 --> 00:06:46,520 -Oh, problem is that Hilton 147 00:06:46,550 --> 00:06:51,230 has moved up the investor presentation to tomorrow. 148 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:53,860 He was so impressed with your little party trick. 149 00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:55,530 -So was Dr. Schaffhausen. 150 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,780 I'm gonna get the Nobel Prize in Sweden. 151 00:06:58,810 --> 00:07:02,240 Uh, the King-- -Les, buddy, 152 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,370 unless you can figure out the formula, 153 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,040 there is no Nobel. 154 00:07:07,070 --> 00:07:09,210 -I've-- -No, there is no lab. 155 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,750 There is no you, there is no me. 156 00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:14,210 There is fraud. 157 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:17,300 There is a lawsuit. 158 00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:22,430 There is maximum-security prison. 159 00:07:22,460 --> 00:07:24,560 And Hilton's smug face. 160 00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:26,060 -I can sleep in prison. 161 00:07:26,090 --> 00:07:28,060 -Why are you like this? 162 00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:31,730 -Lindy. -Is this about the-the scandal? 163 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,400 Because I have a lot of conflicting Lindy information. 164 00:07:34,430 --> 00:07:35,780 -She is conflict. 165 00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:37,490 She's--yeah. I need a-- 166 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,610 I need a minute now. 167 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,410 -Take 20, take 30. 168 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,740 But make it fast. 169 00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:46,750 Because if you can't figure this out, we are dead. 170 00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:50,630 Dead in the holy water. 171 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:04,220 woman [on recording]: You've elected to try something new. 172 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,310 You've decided to take control 173 00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:08,730 of your anger and rage. 174 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,310 Surprise yourself and those around you 175 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:14,520 by finding an alternative to lashing out 176 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,030 and emotionally baiting your loved ones. 177 00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:18,230 By channeling... -What? 178 00:08:18,270 --> 00:08:19,990 woman: ...inner peace 179 00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:23,820 and reconnecting with your better self. 180 00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:25,030 You're in there somewhere-- 181 00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:27,490 [phone ringing] 182 00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:29,080 -[gasps] Oh, yeah. 183 00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:30,540 Oh, yes. Accept. 184 00:08:30,570 --> 00:08:32,750 Hello. Hi. Hi, I thought you hated me. 185 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,170 Terry: I do. Turn on the "Today" show. 186 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,000 -Oh, fuck. Why? What--this fuckin' nightmare. 187 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,090 Terry: This is gonna put both of us in the fucking ground. 188 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,840 -Well, what the fuck now? 189 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,340 Terry: Jackie. -No. 190 00:08:43,380 --> 00:08:44,550 Terry: Jenna. -No! 191 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,510 -I have to go. 192 00:08:45,550 --> 00:08:46,600 Lindy: No, no, no! 193 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,720 -Any idea what she's gonna say? 194 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,230 -Nope. 195 00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:52,610 -Power move. 196 00:08:58,390 --> 00:08:59,490 -[groans] 197 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,000 I know you hate me. 198 00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:08,540 But I hate me more. -Get up. 199 00:09:08,570 --> 00:09:10,040 -Let me die. Steffy: I totally want to, 200 00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:12,410 but the "Today" show. 201 00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:14,620 -What the fuck now? -Jackie. 202 00:09:14,660 --> 00:09:16,710 Jenna: ...author Lindy Littlejohn's career comeback 203 00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:17,810 -Yeah? -Jenna. 204 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,300 Jenna: ...and subsequent plagiarism scandal. 205 00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:20,710 Joining us today via satellite 206 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,380 is the student rumored to have written 207 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:23,880 the short story... -Oh, fuck yeah. 208 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,760 -...Jackie Baldwin. Jackie, welcome. 209 00:09:25,790 --> 00:09:27,300 What a whirlwind. 210 00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:29,970 -Jenna, what an honor to be here. 211 00:09:30,010 --> 00:09:31,720 I mean, I'm such a fan. 212 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,400 I love how you love books as much as I do. 213 00:09:35,430 --> 00:09:37,400 Jenna, let me begin by saying 214 00:09:37,430 --> 00:09:39,450 Professor Littlejohn is my hero. 215 00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:42,900 My Rainbow Starts With Black changed my life. 216 00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:46,990 It's as if she saw into my soul. 217 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,620 Lindy: Yeah. -Well, now, 218 00:09:48,650 --> 00:09:49,830 there are questions about the authenticity 219 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:50,950 of that novel, too. 220 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,160 -Okay, which is some bullshit! 221 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,120 Please, Jackie, help me. Help me, Jackie. 222 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,460 Please, please, please. Jackie: Professor Littlejohn 223 00:09:56,490 --> 00:09:58,590 is the reason I wanted to become a writer. 224 00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:01,000 She's a paragon of inspiration. 225 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,090 To think that Professor Littlejohn 226 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,810 would be capable of plagiarism is... 227 00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:09,300 is heartbreaking. 228 00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,100 I mean, 229 00:10:11,130 --> 00:10:12,600 being in this position 230 00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:15,940 is my worst nightmare realized. 231 00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,440 -Jesus. 232 00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:18,440 She's good. -She's good. 233 00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:19,940 -"Untitled on Purpose" 234 00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:22,190 is a captivating and entertaining read. 235 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,440 The question everyone is asking is, 236 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,150 who wrote it? 237 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,780 -Professor Littlejohn, if you're watching, 238 00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:30,830 and I sure hope you are, 239 00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:34,200 I have no choice but to tell the truth. 240 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,710 -[whimpers] 241 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,500 -Professor Littlejohn is the true author 242 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,210 of "Untitled on Purpose." 243 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,380 -Why? What? Yes! 244 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,340 What? Thank you. [gasps] 245 00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:50,890 Jackie: I'm merely a humble graduate student doing... 246 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,510 -Oh, God. -Oh, God. 247 00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:55,850 -Your publisher better have deep fucking pockets. 248 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,730 -Well played, Hel. 249 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,400 Well fucking played. 250 00:10:59,430 --> 00:11:01,400 And nice touch sending her to Montana, too. 251 00:11:01,430 --> 00:11:02,650 Keeps her folksy. 252 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:03,690 -I am no Professor Littlejohn. 253 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,320 -Teach me everything you know. 254 00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:08,150 -It saddens me that her daughter... 255 00:11:08,190 --> 00:11:09,490 Lulu: She's lying. -...would accuse 256 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:10,910 her own mother of such a... 257 00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:13,540 -You don't know me, Jackie Baldwin! 258 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,210 I am not lying. 259 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,330 She is lying about the lying. 260 00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:22,710 -Your mom's fans are fuckin' toxic. 261 00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:24,710 -Yeah. Everybody hates me. 262 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,380 Steffy: The chick-lit hashtaggers are strapping 263 00:11:26,410 --> 00:11:27,920 on their heels for battle. 264 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,510 -But they loved me yesterday. 265 00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:32,440 [whimsical music playing] 266 00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:36,940 [music turning ominous] 267 00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:41,350 -Richard, do I have thoughts today? 268 00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:44,520 -Um, Richard's not here. 269 00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,240 -Oh, yes, you're right. He's dead. 270 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,360 -Uh, no. 271 00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:50,410 I think he's just in Collinsville. 272 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,570 -Is that Shakespearean for heaven? 273 00:11:52,610 --> 00:11:53,700 -It--it's a suburb. 274 00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:55,170 -Oh, lovely. 275 00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:00,920 Bob, explain what I should implement. 276 00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:03,090 -Uh... 277 00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:05,640 -You're not Bob. 278 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,110 -I'm Bob. 279 00:12:07,150 --> 00:12:09,270 -There's something different about you. 280 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,980 -I'm Bob the New Explainer. -Janet? 281 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:14,640 What's happening? Where's Bob-Bob? 282 00:12:14,670 --> 00:12:16,720 -Bob is not here. 283 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,140 No explanation. 284 00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:21,060 -What's going on? -Um, he seems off. 285 00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:23,780 -Les, come. 286 00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:31,780 -There's a new Bob. -That's right. 287 00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:33,570 The other Bob spoke to a journalist. 288 00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,740 We do not do that. You know the protocol. 289 00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:37,160 Let's reset. 290 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,630 Tell me what you see. 291 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:44,920 Better yet, tell me what you don't see. 292 00:12:44,950 --> 00:12:47,180 [whimsical music playing] 293 00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:52,480 -Curve. 294 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,020 Follow the curve. 295 00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:58,900 Continue the curve. 296 00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:11,990 -We need a curve. 297 00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:14,660 Uh, I don't know what kind of curve, 298 00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:18,080 but not a straight line, 299 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,670 a curve... 300 00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,170 to infinity. 301 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,790 If the corn stabilizes for three minutes, 302 00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:31,350 we'll have reached limitless stabilization. 303 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,770 Janet: And the math? 304 00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:39,020 Dr. Littlejohn? 305 00:13:41,340 --> 00:13:43,640 Well, the equation. 306 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,530 The curve. Um... 307 00:13:53,190 --> 00:13:55,070 Vivienne: We have 24 hours. 308 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:56,530 You can do this. 309 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:57,790 You need to sleep. 310 00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:00,990 You're welcome to stay at my place, 311 00:14:01,030 --> 00:14:02,830 in my guestroom. 312 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:05,550 The mattress is Tempur-Pedic, medium firm. 313 00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:09,500 I'm here for you, Les. 314 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,390 I am wherever you need me to be, 315 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:16,010 for work or anything 316 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,440 other than work, too. 317 00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:24,650 -I can't. My wife is expecting me. 318 00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:28,240 -I see. I understand. 319 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:30,570 Then go home. 320 00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:33,610 But do whatever you have to do 321 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,830 to rest and think. 322 00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:39,740 Defend your mental space. 323 00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:42,450 -Defend my mental space. 324 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,840 -Get creative. 325 00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:53,300 -So, is that it? Is it over? 326 00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:54,840 Terry: You're welcome. 327 00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:57,130 -What happened? -Hell. 328 00:14:57,170 --> 00:15:00,010 I have been through hell. Lindy: You have no idea. 329 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,800 -No, you have no idea. 330 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,100 -So my Pulitzer? 331 00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:05,480 Terry: You get to keep it. 332 00:15:06,550 --> 00:15:08,440 -And my editor? 333 00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:09,690 Terry: Still on the roster. 334 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:10,990 -[sighs] 335 00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:14,660 And my best friend? 336 00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:20,030 -Waitlisted-ish. 337 00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:23,030 Lindy: Fair. I deserve an -ish. 338 00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:25,120 I'm just relieved not to be dropped. 339 00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:28,290 So everybody wins, right? 340 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:32,710 You, me, Jackie Baldwin, I'm assuming? 341 00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:34,340 Terry: Raked over the money coals, yes, 342 00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:36,380 but worth it, I think. 343 00:15:36,410 --> 00:15:37,720 -Oh, you're welcome. 344 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:40,800 Terry: Too soon. -Fair. Fair. Yes. 345 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,680 -Um, listen, there is one casualty. 346 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,730 Someone's gotta take the fall. 347 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,860 -Oh, fuck. 348 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,150 Lulu. 349 00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:55,190 Terry: 350 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:58,860 -[sighs] Is it bad-bad? 351 00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:01,490 Terry: She's tough, and it's the internet, 352 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,590 so tomorrow it'll be someone else's something else. 353 00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:09,160 -Jackie's on, and not the folksy one. 354 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,330 -I gotta run. Congrats, I think. 355 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,300 -Thank-- [disconnected tone] 356 00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:17,720 -[sighs] 357 00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:23,890 Jesus. 358 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,940 [dramatic music playing] 359 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,490 -[sighs] 360 00:16:37,060 --> 00:16:38,120 [exhales] 361 00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:46,250 [phone trilling] 362 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,870 Lulu [on recording]: You're old. Text me. 363 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,370 -Of course. 364 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,420 [dramatic music playing] 365 00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:54,090 [groans] 366 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,520 [phone dings, buzzes] 367 00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:10,390 -It's your mom. 368 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:11,890 She says, "Lulu, please come home." 369 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,390 Lulu: Delete it. Steffy: No. 370 00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:14,730 Lulu: Yes! 371 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,230 Steffy: No! You should go home. 372 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,120 Talk to her. 373 00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:23,070 -She had her student lie 374 00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:25,410 so that I could be crushed on social media 375 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,740 and she can keep her precious fucking award. 376 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,240 That is all she cares about. 377 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,450 -You don't know she actually did that. 378 00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:31,750 -I have proof 379 00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:33,250 that she stole that story. 380 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,920 I will not let her get away with this. 381 00:17:34,950 --> 00:17:35,920 -What are you gonna do? 382 00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:37,290 Make another TikTok? 383 00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:38,590 -Maybe I should. 384 00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,000 Or go on the "Today" show. 385 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,510 -You're just looking for more drama. 386 00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,090 You're like a drama junkie. 387 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,230 -So is she. -Finally! 388 00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,640 Now you see my point? 389 00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:50,310 She reached out. 390 00:17:50,340 --> 00:17:52,980 She wants to see you. 391 00:17:53,010 --> 00:17:55,600 She is breaking a pattern and so should you. 392 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,660 -[sighs] 393 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:07,670 -And we will be talking about Shirtless Mike later. 394 00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:15,460 -You fellows have traveled a great distance 395 00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:18,130 following a northern star, gifts in hand, 396 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,800 and your faith was rewarded, right? 397 00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:25,550 And in my own way, I have traveled a great distance 398 00:18:25,580 --> 00:18:27,640 following my heart's North Star, 399 00:18:27,670 --> 00:18:30,140 only to be rejected, and tortured, 400 00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:32,640 and traumatized that I'm losing my faith. 401 00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:35,690 [crying] I'm... 402 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,200 I'm losing my faith, in faith. 403 00:18:40,930 --> 00:18:44,240 I'm in dire need of some kind of sign. 404 00:18:44,270 --> 00:18:48,160 A reason, a purpose, a direction, a-- 405 00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:51,250 [phone ringing] 406 00:18:56,070 --> 00:18:57,470 [chuckles] 407 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,170 -Your existence is complicated, 408 00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,260 but I thank you anyway. 409 00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:07,730 [sniffles, clears throat] 410 00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:11,510 Well, you've restored my faith. 411 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,560 -In what? 412 00:19:13,550 --> 00:19:15,100 -In life. 413 00:19:15,130 --> 00:19:17,440 Hi. -Hi. 414 00:19:17,470 --> 00:19:19,850 I-I know you're on a mini signed sabbatical 415 00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:21,940 caring for a loved one right now, 416 00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:24,530 and I hate to bother you, but... 417 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,700 Richard: Janet, you are never a bother. 418 00:19:27,730 --> 00:19:29,950 -Well, um, I'm glad. 419 00:19:29,980 --> 00:19:31,280 Richard: What's going on? 420 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,040 -Um, Les is not good. 421 00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:37,710 -Oh, I know. -You know? 422 00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:41,380 -I--well, you know, we work together so closely 423 00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:42,960 that it's like a twin-flame thing. 424 00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:48,300 I--I can feel it, even if I can't see it in... in person. 425 00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:52,050 -Uh, thing is, we need him good, 426 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,260 like great. 427 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:57,310 He's too exhausted to string a coherent sentence together 428 00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:59,770 and the investor presentation is tomorrow. 429 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,900 -Wait. Tomorrow? 430 00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,480 Janet: Yeah, Hilton's whim. 431 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,280 -Oh. So, how can I be helpful? 432 00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,900 Janet: Uh, I wish you could talk to him. 433 00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,570 Get him back on track. 434 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,070 I mean, he thinks 435 00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:16,990 you're in, like, heaven? 436 00:20:17,030 --> 00:20:19,130 -I'm nearby. 437 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,330 man [over PA]: Johnny, we need the forklift. 438 00:20:23,370 --> 00:20:26,350 Johnny, bring back the forklift. 439 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,260 ♪ Down in Jamaica ♪ 440 00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:31,800 ♪ They got lots ♪ ♪ Of pretty women ♪ 441 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,680 ♪ Steal your money ♪ 442 00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:35,510 ♪ Then they break ♪ ♪ Your heart ♪ 443 00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:37,470 ♪ Lonesome Sue ♪ 444 00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:40,770 ♪ She's in love ♪ ♪ With old Sam ♪ 445 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,100 ♪ Take him from the fire ♪ ♪ Into the frying pan ♪ 446 00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:44,410 -Great choice. [chuckles] 447 00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:46,770 It's my favorite. 448 00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:48,990 -Would it get through a bedroom door easily? 449 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,280 -Like a hot knife through butter. 450 00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:54,280 -[chuckles] Yes, please. 451 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,620 ♪ ...when she feels ♪ ♪ Like crying ♪ 452 00:20:55,650 --> 00:20:57,870 -Question, um, Chuck, 453 00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:01,120 if you had a very clever, determined, 454 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,170 angry mouse that was keeping you up all night, 455 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,290 driving you fucking insane... -I hate mice. 456 00:21:06,330 --> 00:21:08,670 -...what would you use to slow her down? 457 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:09,960 Chuck: Let me ask you this. 458 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,630 Are you lookin' for somethin' 459 00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:15,100 humane or inhumane? 460 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,980 Let me show you both options. -Yes, please. 461 00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:22,900 ♪ And starts to cry ♪ 462 00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:28,860 -I'll wait to hear from you with, um, bells on. 463 00:21:28,890 --> 00:21:30,120 -Fare thee well. 464 00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:32,620 [call disconnects] 465 00:21:34,060 --> 00:21:35,290 -[gasps] 466 00:21:35,770 --> 00:21:36,870 Oh. 467 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:40,240 Um... um... 468 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,370 I was on a personal call. 469 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,920 I apologize. I cannot lie. 470 00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:46,380 -Why do you look like that? 471 00:21:46,410 --> 00:21:48,260 -Nervous? -Glowing. 472 00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:51,050 When you hung up with whoever you were speaking to, 473 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,630 you smiled and glowed. 474 00:21:53,670 --> 00:21:55,970 -Am I in trouble? -Not yet. 475 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,470 I'm curious. 476 00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:01,470 -I was talking to, um, someone special. 477 00:22:01,510 --> 00:22:03,230 -You're in a relationship? 478 00:22:03,260 --> 00:22:05,780 -No, no, no. The someone special already... 479 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,780 has a someone special. 480 00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:12,280 Am I fired? -Isn't it anti-feminist 481 00:22:12,310 --> 00:22:13,490 to be considered the other woman? 482 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:14,650 -I'm sorry? 483 00:22:14,690 --> 00:22:15,910 Vivienne: Your Instagram account. 484 00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:19,280 "Janet Colgate, physicist, 485 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,120 feminist, celiac." 486 00:22:22,150 --> 00:22:24,750 -You're on Instagram? Vivienne: In a way. I lurk. 487 00:22:24,780 --> 00:22:27,840 I research...everyone. 488 00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:29,390 Janet... 489 00:22:32,290 --> 00:22:33,760 you're the other woman? 490 00:22:33,790 --> 00:22:37,560 -Oh, I-I don't think I have that status yet. 491 00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:40,150 -Same. Hmm. 492 00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:46,570 -Mom, I'm here. Let's talk. 493 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:49,560 Mom? 494 00:22:49,590 --> 00:22:51,070 Lindy [on megaphone]: I'm in here. 495 00:22:52,470 --> 00:22:55,160 Lulu: Where? Lindy: In the kitchen. 496 00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:59,580 -Mom, where? 497 00:23:00,050 --> 00:23:01,450 Lindy: On the island. 498 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:02,750 -The what? 499 00:23:04,070 --> 00:23:05,620 Okay, this is fucking stupid. 500 00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:07,920 Lindy: By the salt and pepper! 501 00:23:16,580 --> 00:23:21,140 It's me. Uh, I'm tiny and I know it's a shock. 502 00:23:21,170 --> 00:23:22,680 Just try not to-- -You're tiny?! 503 00:23:22,710 --> 00:23:24,110 -[Lindy groans] 504 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:26,980 ...scream. Okay. 505 00:23:27,010 --> 00:23:28,480 But before we continue, 506 00:23:28,510 --> 00:23:31,560 let's crash course in volume control. 507 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,650 You're gonna lean into a whisper. 508 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,320 I'll lean into a shout. 509 00:23:35,350 --> 00:23:36,490 We'll meet in the middle. 510 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,120 -Are you real? 511 00:23:40,190 --> 00:23:42,740 -Yeah. Uh, I am real. 512 00:23:42,780 --> 00:23:44,040 -Holy fuck. 513 00:23:45,030 --> 00:23:46,380 Holy fuck. Dad did this. 514 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,130 The dollhouse? The crying? 515 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,250 The "Today" show? 516 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,090 Grandma?! -Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahh. Quieter. 517 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:57,310 -Sorry. 518 00:23:57,540 --> 00:23:58,720 Lindy: It's okay. 519 00:24:01,420 --> 00:24:03,940 -How did this happen? 520 00:24:04,740 --> 00:24:08,180 -It was an accident. An accident. 521 00:24:08,220 --> 00:24:12,100 Your dad and I are working through some issues. 522 00:24:12,140 --> 00:24:15,520 You know, uh--I am working through some issues. 523 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,530 It's why I reached out. 524 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:18,740 Lulu, uh... 525 00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:24,200 God, those comments online just broke my heart. 526 00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:27,750 You don't deserve--it's-- it's--I'm--oh, God. 527 00:24:27,780 --> 00:24:28,870 I fucked up. 528 00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:30,800 -[sobs] 529 00:24:31,730 --> 00:24:34,460 -Why are you crying? Lulu: I don't know. 530 00:24:34,490 --> 00:24:39,630 I don't know, because I'm so fucking mad at you. 531 00:24:39,670 --> 00:24:41,270 I hated you. 532 00:24:42,070 --> 00:24:44,190 You lied. That Jackie Baldwin bitch lied. 533 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,390 -Okay. Okay. Lulu: I'm sorry. 534 00:24:46,420 --> 00:24:49,310 I don't know how to whisper-cry and I can't even fucking yell. 535 00:24:49,340 --> 00:24:51,390 Lindy: No. It's okay. You should yell. 536 00:24:51,430 --> 00:24:53,310 You should be mad. 537 00:24:53,350 --> 00:24:54,900 -Don't tell me that I should be mad 538 00:24:54,930 --> 00:24:56,230 when I should be mad. 539 00:24:56,270 --> 00:24:58,280 And now, I can't be mad... 540 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:04,330 because you're just, you're so small... 541 00:25:05,650 --> 00:25:07,380 and I feel so bad. 542 00:25:09,610 --> 00:25:10,960 -Come here. 543 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,300 Come. 544 00:25:17,790 --> 00:25:18,800 Closer. 545 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,310 Closer. 546 00:25:24,130 --> 00:25:25,560 -Don't look up my nose. 547 00:25:27,550 --> 00:25:29,310 -I won't. 548 00:25:29,340 --> 00:25:30,820 -This is so weird. 549 00:25:36,350 --> 00:25:37,490 -I know. 550 00:25:39,140 --> 00:25:40,830 Our family's weird now. 551 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:50,080 -So, um... are you okay? 552 00:25:50,110 --> 00:25:54,160 -Well, I'm branded dog shit, but I'm okay. 553 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,500 -This is all my fault. 554 00:25:56,530 --> 00:25:58,840 I'm not a great mom. 555 00:25:58,870 --> 00:26:00,880 I-I-I want to be. 556 00:26:00,910 --> 00:26:04,220 I... I need to try harder. I-I can start right now. 557 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,010 Where to start? Okay. 558 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,510 Um, I wrote a book. 559 00:26:08,550 --> 00:26:11,520 -Whoa. We're going back 20 years? 560 00:26:11,550 --> 00:26:12,850 How long is this story? 561 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,570 -Short and with a point. -We'll see. 562 00:26:16,100 --> 00:26:18,690 -I wrote a book. I got rewarded. 563 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,190 I felt like a fraud. I mean, it was my first book. 564 00:26:22,230 --> 00:26:23,860 But then I had this prize. 565 00:26:23,890 --> 00:26:27,110 And that basically became my identity. 566 00:26:27,150 --> 00:26:29,240 -So, bullshit on bullshit? 567 00:26:29,270 --> 00:26:31,080 -Bullshit on bullshit. [clears throat] 568 00:26:31,110 --> 00:26:35,300 And, uh--well, then, then you came along. 569 00:26:35,730 --> 00:26:40,040 And I could focus on you, not me. 570 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,090 So, bullshit me, 571 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:46,930 she kinda got left behind, which I loved. 572 00:26:47,330 --> 00:26:51,220 And then you grew up and we grew apart. 573 00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:54,650 And bullshit me kinda showed back up. 574 00:26:56,300 --> 00:27:00,230 I think I resented you resenting me. 575 00:27:00,260 --> 00:27:02,980 But that is not being a good parent. 576 00:27:03,020 --> 00:27:05,900 That is being-- -A petulant child. 577 00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:08,990 Lindy: Yeah. Heh. You were hurting. 578 00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:13,210 I didn't know why, but I should have asked. 579 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,630 I should have listened. 580 00:27:17,030 --> 00:27:19,220 [tender music playing] 581 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:25,920 -Okay. Well, a few edits maybe, but your story did have a point. 582 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,630 -So, [clears throat] I'm listening now 583 00:27:28,670 --> 00:27:30,590 and I have really good hearing. 584 00:27:30,630 --> 00:27:32,560 It's a benefit of being this tiny. 585 00:27:36,010 --> 00:27:38,350 -I hate science. -You do? 586 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:40,310 -Dad's gonna lose his fucking brain. 587 00:27:40,350 --> 00:27:41,940 Lindy: Oh. I mean... 588 00:27:41,970 --> 00:27:43,160 -I flunked out of school. 589 00:27:43,490 --> 00:27:45,690 So, go ahead, freak out. 590 00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:48,280 -You did? -Yeah, by design. 591 00:27:48,310 --> 00:27:50,210 -Uh, I mean--okay. How? 592 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,030 -It was harder than I expected. 593 00:27:53,070 --> 00:27:54,500 -[laughs] I bet. 594 00:27:55,820 --> 00:27:58,040 I misappropriated my student's story 595 00:27:58,070 --> 00:27:59,510 and didn't correct it. 596 00:28:00,610 --> 00:28:03,890 -I dropped a TikTok outing my mom as a plagiarist. 597 00:28:05,870 --> 00:28:07,880 -I burned down your dollhouse. 598 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,630 -What? Lindy: Yeah. 599 00:28:09,670 --> 00:28:11,970 It felt great. 600 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,560 -I deleted "Darling Daughter." 601 00:28:15,170 --> 00:28:17,470 -Wait, that was you? -Yeah. I was 11. 602 00:28:17,510 --> 00:28:19,690 You should really change your password. 603 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:22,740 -Wait. 604 00:28:26,350 --> 00:28:27,530 Oh, my God. 605 00:28:30,060 --> 00:28:33,200 You read that. Lulu: Yeah. It--it's okay. 606 00:28:33,230 --> 00:28:35,080 I know you didn't want me. I get it. 607 00:28:37,030 --> 00:28:43,170 -Lulu, I was channeling Grandma Diane, my mom, 608 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,890 thinking about me. 609 00:28:46,750 --> 00:28:48,210 -Really? Lindy: Of course. 610 00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:52,100 Oh, my God, I've never regretted having you. 611 00:28:53,380 --> 00:28:54,510 -But the resentment... 612 00:28:54,540 --> 00:28:56,560 -No. That was later and different. 613 00:28:56,590 --> 00:28:58,070 God, no. 614 00:29:00,130 --> 00:29:01,780 -Makes sense. 615 00:29:02,890 --> 00:29:04,190 -Does it? 616 00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:06,490 -Yeah, actually. I read your book. 617 00:29:07,290 --> 00:29:10,360 I can definitely see the Grandma Diane connection. 618 00:29:10,390 --> 00:29:13,330 -God, it breaks my heart that you thought I didn't... 619 00:29:16,110 --> 00:29:18,750 That you grew up thinking that I didn't want you? 620 00:29:19,950 --> 00:29:23,040 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 621 00:29:23,070 --> 00:29:24,880 Oh, sweet girl. 622 00:29:24,910 --> 00:29:28,250 I'm so sorry. I suck. 623 00:29:28,290 --> 00:29:31,630 Oh, I suck. I fucking suck. 624 00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:32,970 -I suck too. 625 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,440 -That's also my fault, and Dad's. 626 00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:39,150 -We all suck. -Which sucks. 627 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:47,950 You read my book. 628 00:29:49,930 --> 00:29:51,620 Lulu: You want me to tell you it's good? 629 00:29:53,020 --> 00:29:55,290 -No. -It's okay. 630 00:29:56,650 --> 00:29:58,160 -I'll take it. 631 00:29:58,190 --> 00:30:00,840 -So, do you have to tell Dad I flunked out, 632 00:30:01,270 --> 00:30:06,080 like a UFP or United Family whatever-it-is? 633 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,420 -UPF, United Parental Front. 634 00:30:08,450 --> 00:30:10,140 No, fuck it. 635 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,140 [tense music playing] 636 00:30:22,050 --> 00:30:24,430 -I have to go in front of the review board tomorrow 637 00:30:24,470 --> 00:30:26,650 and, like, make a case or whatever. 638 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,940 Tell them why they shouldn't kick me out of school. 639 00:30:29,970 --> 00:30:32,190 -What are you gonna say? 640 00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,280 We could... [clears throat] We could practice it. 641 00:30:34,310 --> 00:30:37,660 -No. Don't get all mom about it. 642 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:40,500 -Okay. 643 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,550 -Hey, Lulu. What's going on? 644 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:49,340 -Dad. 645 00:30:55,500 --> 00:30:56,720 -I can explain. 646 00:30:56,750 --> 00:30:59,140 -Les, don't worry. 647 00:30:59,170 --> 00:31:00,600 I already explained. 648 00:31:02,050 --> 00:31:04,020 -What did she tell you? -A lot. 649 00:31:05,340 --> 00:31:07,690 -She's a liar. -You're the liar, Dad. 650 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,230 -Uh, what? -The dollhouse? 651 00:31:11,260 --> 00:31:14,190 Grandma? Mom left us? 652 00:31:14,230 --> 00:31:16,900 You let me think she was having an emotional breakdown. 653 00:31:16,940 --> 00:31:18,570 -No. Lulu: What the fuck? 654 00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:21,420 -No, no, no. Lulu-- -You've never lied to me before. 655 00:31:23,690 --> 00:31:26,160 -What did you tell her? Lindy: Whatever I want. 656 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,370 I'm her mother, she needed me. -Since when? 657 00:31:28,410 --> 00:31:31,000 You-you-you-you had no right to talk to her. 658 00:31:31,030 --> 00:31:32,420 Lulu: Dad... Les: No. No, no, no. 659 00:31:32,450 --> 00:31:33,920 -Dad... Les: We discussed this. 660 00:31:33,950 --> 00:31:35,840 UPF. UPF. 661 00:31:35,870 --> 00:31:37,670 We-we said that telling you would traumatize you 662 00:31:37,710 --> 00:31:39,340 and we were gonna tell you together. 663 00:31:39,380 --> 00:31:41,390 That's the U in UPF! 664 00:31:41,420 --> 00:31:43,850 -Well, someone had to be the P! 665 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,560 -Well, here's the F. Fuck you. Lindy: Fuck you! 666 00:31:46,590 --> 00:31:48,560 Fuck you! Fuck you! 667 00:31:48,590 --> 00:31:49,940 -Fuck you! Lindy: Fuck you! 668 00:31:49,970 --> 00:31:51,150 -Why? 669 00:31:53,140 --> 00:31:55,410 [Les and Lindy groan] [door closes] 670 00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:58,740 Lindy: Shit. -[Lulu retching] 671 00:31:58,770 --> 00:32:00,660 We are horrible. 672 00:32:01,610 --> 00:32:02,950 -The worst. -[Lulu coughing] 673 00:32:02,980 --> 00:32:05,740 -Makes me sick to make her sick. 674 00:32:05,780 --> 00:32:07,750 -Yeah, me too. 675 00:32:07,780 --> 00:32:09,970 Lindy: We need to get our shit together. 676 00:32:10,660 --> 00:32:12,460 Jesus. 677 00:32:12,490 --> 00:32:13,590 Look at us. 678 00:32:14,290 --> 00:32:15,300 Look at me. 679 00:32:15,910 --> 00:32:18,050 -I know, I know. 680 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:19,350 Okay, okay. 681 00:32:25,340 --> 00:32:27,770 [Lulu retching] Lindy: I'm so sorry, Lulu. 682 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,940 This is us. Not you. 683 00:32:29,970 --> 00:32:32,270 -It's never you. Never you. 684 00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:33,860 Lulu: I think I'm empty. 685 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,490 [toilet flushing] 686 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,170 -This is so fucked. 687 00:32:43,980 --> 00:32:45,500 Our family is fucked. 688 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,920 You're standing on the sink. 689 00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:52,000 -Yeah. [chuckles] 690 00:32:52,030 --> 00:32:55,500 But, uh, this is our new reality. 691 00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:59,050 We're a fucked-up family like everybody else, you know? 692 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,880 Sort of. -Until we're not. 693 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:02,380 I can fix this. 694 00:33:02,420 --> 00:33:03,690 Lulu: Can you, Dad? 695 00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:07,010 Les: Yes. 696 00:33:07,050 --> 00:33:08,270 Don't you believe me? 697 00:33:12,390 --> 00:33:14,150 -I believe you. You know? 698 00:33:14,180 --> 00:33:15,810 And you're, you're brilliant. 699 00:33:15,850 --> 00:33:19,650 Frustratingly so. I've always believed in you. 700 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:20,870 Always. 701 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,910 -Okay. So, like, what do we do now? 702 00:33:25,940 --> 00:33:27,210 -We live. 703 00:33:27,740 --> 00:33:30,750 Uh, Dad and I are gonna work things out, 704 00:33:31,390 --> 00:33:34,250 you're gonna go back to school tonight, 705 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,500 and, um, then we'll all go skiing 706 00:33:36,540 --> 00:33:38,670 over President's Day weekend or something. 707 00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:41,170 I don't know. But we're gonna be okay. 708 00:33:41,210 --> 00:33:43,260 We're going to be okay. 709 00:33:43,290 --> 00:33:46,850 Right? -Yes. Absolutely. 710 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:48,060 Yes. 711 00:33:52,220 --> 00:33:55,520 -Is it bad that I kinda wanna see Mom on tiny skis? 712 00:33:55,550 --> 00:33:56,740 -[laughs] 713 00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:03,910 -Hey. You know I love you, kiddo. 714 00:34:06,150 --> 00:34:07,500 -Yeah, I know. 715 00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:14,760 [Lindy sighs] 716 00:34:18,620 --> 00:34:20,880 -She didn't tell me that she loved me back. 717 00:34:20,910 --> 00:34:22,930 Lindy: Uh, I think she did. -She did not. 718 00:34:23,470 --> 00:34:25,090 You know she did not. -Okay. 719 00:34:25,130 --> 00:34:27,090 This is a lot for her to process. 720 00:34:27,130 --> 00:34:28,940 -I've lost her love. 721 00:34:30,630 --> 00:34:32,390 -Okay, now you're being dramatic. 722 00:34:32,420 --> 00:34:33,610 -Dramatic? 723 00:34:35,930 --> 00:34:38,980 She fucking adored me and now she can barely look at me. 724 00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:41,730 -Yeah. It stings. But-- -No, no, no. It's fine. 725 00:34:41,770 --> 00:34:43,780 It's-it's okay. I-I understand. I know. 726 00:34:43,810 --> 00:34:45,400 I know that you love this. 727 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,240 You love it. -Love what? 728 00:34:47,270 --> 00:34:51,450 -You want me to be Hurricane Les, don't you? 729 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,620 Well, bravo. 730 00:34:53,650 --> 00:34:56,750 -This is your fucking guilt talking. 731 00:34:56,780 --> 00:35:00,340 That's what this is. -You just--you took my daughter 732 00:35:00,370 --> 00:35:01,920 away from me. 733 00:35:01,950 --> 00:35:04,090 -Your daughter? -Yeah. That was your plan. 734 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,680 -This was my plan? -I was her hero, 735 00:35:06,710 --> 00:35:09,010 and now she thinks I'm a fuckin' liar. 736 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,350 -I told her it was an accident. 737 00:35:11,380 --> 00:35:13,180 You want me to play her the voice note, huh? 738 00:35:13,210 --> 00:35:16,990 -Oh, I'm sure you painted a very pretty picture of yours-- 739 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,770 Did you tell her about Richard? 740 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,650 -Did you tell her about Richard? 741 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,150 -His blood is on your hands, Lindy. 742 00:35:23,180 --> 00:35:26,610 Lindy: Really? My tiny, innocent, 743 00:35:26,650 --> 00:35:28,330 shrunken-on-purpose hands? 744 00:35:28,930 --> 00:35:32,700 Maybe you deserve to be her mad-scientist 745 00:35:32,730 --> 00:35:34,790 shithead dad who shrunk her mom. 746 00:35:34,820 --> 00:35:36,620 Every dad disappoints eventually. 747 00:35:36,660 --> 00:35:39,330 It's finally your fucking turn. 748 00:35:39,370 --> 00:35:41,590 [tense music playing] 749 00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,220 -You ruined Lulu 750 00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:50,350 and you make me sick. 751 00:35:53,170 --> 00:35:56,060 -[gasps] What the fuck are you doing? 752 00:35:56,090 --> 00:35:59,520 No! [gasping] 753 00:35:59,550 --> 00:36:02,810 -It would be so easy just to let go. 754 00:36:02,850 --> 00:36:04,980 -I've seen your balls, Les. 755 00:36:05,020 --> 00:36:07,700 They aren't big enough. -Oh, it's been a while. 756 00:36:11,020 --> 00:36:12,660 [toilet flushing] 757 00:36:12,690 --> 00:36:15,160 -Maybe you've forgotten how big they are. 758 00:36:15,190 --> 00:36:16,380 -Put me down! 759 00:36:17,530 --> 00:36:19,080 -Okay. 760 00:36:19,110 --> 00:36:20,880 -[yelps] 761 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:23,930 [Lindy gasping] 762 00:36:25,910 --> 00:36:27,220 You motherfucker! 763 00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:30,340 You're dead. 764 00:36:30,380 --> 00:36:32,230 -Sure. Why not? 765 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,730 [Lindy grunting] 766 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,570 Fuck. What the fuck? 767 00:37:02,070 --> 00:37:05,090 [dramatic music playing] 768 00:37:06,410 --> 00:37:08,810 [car driving away] 769 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,790 -You were a good and loyal friend. 770 00:37:39,110 --> 00:37:40,800 I'm gonna miss you, Dolores, 771 00:37:42,610 --> 00:37:44,380 and I'm sorry it ended this way. 772 00:37:46,990 --> 00:37:49,350 Richard [on megaphone]: I'm sorry too, Dolores. 773 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,430 Your eyes do not deceive you, I am not a ghost. 774 00:37:56,460 --> 00:37:58,930 I am very much alive. 775 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:00,860 -[gasps] Richard! 776 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:03,940 I'm so relieved! 777 00:38:03,970 --> 00:38:07,660 -You are no more a murderer than I am an adulterer. 778 00:38:08,220 --> 00:38:11,780 I was hoodwinked into an uncompromising position, 779 00:38:11,810 --> 00:38:14,870 but I wanna put your mind at ease. 780 00:38:15,370 --> 00:38:17,950 Nothing happened below the belt. 781 00:38:17,980 --> 00:38:19,920 -Well, the belt was off, Richard. 782 00:38:20,390 --> 00:38:22,670 -All part of the charade. 783 00:38:24,990 --> 00:38:26,460 -I never meant to hurt you. 784 00:38:26,490 --> 00:38:27,550 Richard: Yes, you did. 785 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:31,500 However, I know you never meant to vanquish me, 786 00:38:31,540 --> 00:38:33,260 which you did not. 787 00:38:35,170 --> 00:38:36,720 -Call it even? 788 00:38:36,750 --> 00:38:38,100 Richard: Even Steven. 789 00:38:40,710 --> 00:38:43,140 [whimsical music playing] 790 00:38:43,170 --> 00:38:45,520 I have a science thought, if I may be so bold. 791 00:38:45,550 --> 00:38:47,150 -Please. 792 00:38:47,180 --> 00:38:50,900 -So, given my recent firsthand experiences, 793 00:38:50,930 --> 00:38:53,580 I've been thinking about the quantum harmonic oscillator. 794 00:38:53,940 --> 00:38:57,530 What if its potential energy is akin to the mass on a spring? 795 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:01,030 -As in, uh, V of X equals one-half KX square? 796 00:39:01,070 --> 00:39:02,540 -Where K is the spring constant 797 00:39:02,570 --> 00:39:04,710 and X is the displacement. 798 00:39:05,450 --> 00:39:09,050 -I mean, that's a--that's-- that's a parabolic curve. 799 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,250 [chuckles] 800 00:39:11,290 --> 00:39:12,750 I mean, that could work. 801 00:39:12,790 --> 00:39:14,640 -[laughs] 802 00:39:15,310 --> 00:39:17,680 I've missed this. -Me too. 803 00:39:17,710 --> 00:39:20,010 I will say Janet's been good, very good. 804 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,600 Um, but I have--I've missed, uh, I've missed the, uh... 805 00:39:23,630 --> 00:39:25,730 -You don't need to say it. I know. 806 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,150 -Richard, I--you--missed you. 807 00:39:29,550 --> 00:39:31,570 -I do owe you an apology. 808 00:39:32,930 --> 00:39:35,290 I was a fool for love. 809 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,080 I keep wondering... 810 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:44,870 was I driven by love or the tragedy of love? 811 00:39:44,900 --> 00:39:48,250 -You know, I can't believe you miniaturized yourself for her. 812 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,870 -Oh, you would have done the same 813 00:39:49,910 --> 00:39:52,340 if you weren't needed to solve the formula. 814 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,470 -Oh, no, Richard. Never crossed my mind. 815 00:39:57,580 --> 00:39:59,270 No, we've reached a new low. 816 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,270 -May I ask why? 817 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,440 -Because I know her. 818 00:40:07,470 --> 00:40:10,530 I really fucking know her. 819 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:12,700 Not worth it. 820 00:40:14,100 --> 00:40:16,160 -Then you know she's coming for you. 821 00:40:17,270 --> 00:40:18,540 -Oh, I do. 822 00:40:19,980 --> 00:40:22,040 And I can't fucking wait. 823 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,330 ♪ Love ♪ 824 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:29,750 ♪ Love will tear us ♪ ♪ Apart again ♪ 825 00:40:29,780 --> 00:40:31,750 ♪ Love ♪ 826 00:40:31,780 --> 00:40:35,970 ♪ Love will tear us ♪ ♪ Apart again ♪ 827 00:40:42,380 --> 00:40:45,850 ♪ Why is the bedroom ♪ ♪ So cold? ♪ 828 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,140 ♪ You've turned away ♪ ♪ On your side ♪ 829 00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:52,350 ♪ Is my timing that flawed? ♪ 830 00:40:52,390 --> 00:40:55,820 ♪ Our respect runs so dry ♪ 831 00:40:55,850 --> 00:40:59,030 ♪ Yet there's still ♪ ♪ This appeal ♪ 832 00:40:59,060 --> 00:41:02,490 ♪ That we've kept ♪ ♪ Through our lives ♪ 833 00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,450 ♪ But love ♪ 834 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:08,950 ♪ Love will tear us ♪ ♪ Apart again ♪ 835 00:41:08,990 --> 00:41:10,960 ♪ Love ♪ 836 00:41:10,990 --> 00:41:15,630 ♪ Love will tear us ♪ ♪ Apart again ♪ 837 00:41:15,660 --> 00:41:18,720 [song continues]